How to Overcome Self-Doubt & Take Action With Confidence

Key Takeaways

• Self-doubt is normal — but it doesn’t have to hold you back.
• ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) teaches you how to unhook from limiting thoughts and move forward with confidence.
• Real confidence comes from acting on your values, even when fear shows up.

If you’ve been wondering how to overcome self-doubt — you’re not alone. We all experience moments of self-doubt, those nagging thoughts that make us question our abilities or second-guess our next steps. It’s a deeply human experience, and it often shows up right when we care most about something. Whether it’s starting something new, setting a boundary, or taking a leap toward a goal, that little voice often whispers:

"I'm not ready."

“Who am I to do this?”

"What if I fail?"

Self-doubt can be paralyzing. It can keep you stuck, replaying the same fears instead of taking the actions that move you forward. But what if you could change your relationship with these thoughts — seeing them for what they are, not letting them define what you do next?

Let’s explore a science-backed strategy from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that helps quiet self-criticism and build genuine confidence.

Cognitive Defusion: Your Go-To Strategy for Overcoming Self-Doubt

Cognitive defusion means learning to unhook from your thoughts so they lose their control over you.
In ACT, thoughts are understood as mental events — not facts. When you practice defusion, you stop fighting your thoughts or trying to “think them away.” Instead, you learn to notice them without letting them dictate your actions.

This approach helps you move forward even when self-doubt shows up — and over time, you strengthen your confidence by taking meaningful action despite those thoughts.

How to Overcome Self-Doubt With Cognitive Defusion

Here’s a three-step process you can try the next time that inner critic gets loud.

Step 1: Notice the Negative Thought

We all have common self-doubting phrases that loop in our minds. A few examples include:

• "I can't do that."

• "I'll embarrass myself."

• "What if I don't have what it takes?"

For this exercise, let's use: "I can't do that."

Simply noticing the thought helps you take the first step toward separating from it.

Step 2: Create Space Between You and the Thought

Now, try changing how you relate to it.

Instead of saying: "I can't do that."

Try: "I'm having the thought that I can't do that."

Then, take it one step further:

"I notice I am having the thought that I can't do that."

This small shift in language creates space between you and the thought. You are no longer treating it as an absolute truth—you are merely observing it. Very often, this is enough separation between ourselves and the thought to recognize that we don't have to listen to it, believe it, or act on it—we are simply observing our thinking process from the perspective of an observer. Doing so frees us up to respond to the thought most effectively, rather than just reacting automatically, which may or may not be in our best interest.

Step 3: Choose How You Want to Respond

Once you’ve created space, you regain the power to choose what comes next.

Ask yourself:

• Does this thought help me move toward what matters most?

• If I let this thought make my decision, does it move me forward or hold me back?

By reflecting on these questions, you can respond intentionally rather than react automatically. Over time, this strengthens your sense of agency and confidence.

Why This Strategy Works

Practicing cognitive defusion helps you:

• Reduce overthinking – You can notice thoughts without getting lost in them.

• Build courage – You learn to act even when self-doubt is present.

• Strengthen resilience – You stop letting every critical thought derail your goals.

When you separate who you are from what your mind says, you start showing up differently — more grounded, more capable, and more confident.

Therapist Insight: Don't Try to Eliminate Negative Thoughts

A common misconception is that confidence means never feeling doubt again. In reality, confidence comes from learning to move forward even when self-doubt is there.

The goal isn’t to eliminate negative thoughts — it’s to loosen their grip on you. Once you stop trying to control or avoid them, they naturally hold less power.

Final Thoughts: You Are More Than Your Thoughts

Successful people don't eliminate fear and doubt—they learn to move forward despite them.

By practicing cognitive defusion, you can break free from self-limiting beliefs and take meaningful action toward the goals and life that matter most to you.

If you would like professional support with self-doubt or to learn more, please click below:

Therapist Bio

Cari Browning, RN, LCSW, is a licensed therapist and founder of Resilience Focused Therapy in Walnut Creek, CA. Dually trained as both a nurse and psychotherapist, she brings a whole-person, mind-body perspective to her work—supporting both mental and physical health. Cari specializes in helping adults, couples, and teens navigate anxiety, stress, trauma, and relationship challenges with evidence-based approaches, including EMDR, DBT, and the Gottman Method. She is passionate about blending science-backed strategies with compassionate care to help clients feel more confident, resilient, and connected.

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Reference:

Harris, R. (2019). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy. New Harbinger Publications.